IT’S A MIDLIFE CRISIS JIM BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT……….

It’s been a while since my last post and this is my last post for the year. So you can regard it as a Christmas special.

Well, I set out on this Journey in August 2019, when I decided to retire and travel. As a young man in my mid twenties, I did have a life’s plan to retire at 55 and travel. I even made financial provision for it but had forgotten about the aspiration over time, getting bogged down in daily professional and family life. A letter arrived a few months before, from a pensions company, regarding a couple of addition pensions called AVCs, that I’d taken out many years ago.

It summarised the benefits due on my retirement of the 29th April 2021, my 55th birthday. I’d completely forgotten about them, but at that moment my fire and passion for life was re-ignited. The forgotten desire to retire at 55 was reborn, rising from the ashes just like the mythical creature The Phoenix.

It took until Xmas for Christina to get her head round it and get on board. In January of this year, I was very upfront with all concerned at work about my future plans, including the planned knee surgery.

The surgery is now completed and I am now recovering well but it is slow. I have no regrets about it so far and I’m beginning to realise some benefit. The medial joint pain has now resolved, replaced by pain from surgical site, which as I say is improving. So I’m confident, by the new year I’ll be pain free.

I have now formally handed in my notice to retire, again as I said I would and the retirement paperwork is being processed. So all in all, things are progressing well, in line with the timeline I have meticulously planned. So far so good…..

Midlife crisis?

Whilst most people have been supportive and encouraging about my new direction, occasionally I hear the phrase ‘just a mid life crisis’. No one wants to hear that, least of all own up to it. Particularly as it’s often only ridicule and the subject of many bad jokes. To be honest, I think it’s jealousy with many wishing they could but if only they had “the balls” and the faith to believe in themselves. I’m sure I’m no different from anyone else in wanting to do what I want to do, so I’m just going about making it happen, no crisis. That’s why I prefer to see this as a “mid life adjustment” or perhaps even “rejuvenation”.

For me and men like me, I think there is something to be applauded in taking stock at this time in your life, using your autonomy and financial position, as after we have all have worked hard to get where we are, as an opportunity to plan a path for our future. I suppose the crucial issue is, in what form your transition takes if that’s what you decide to do. Taking that risk to change your life is not easy swallow. But then again nor is regret……

I suppose the crucial issue is in what form your transition takes. I am sure during this period of life’s reflection, many crash and burn becoming bitter, angry and cynical in the process! To that end I can see why it can be a crisis for many.

For me however, I’ve started my journey, taken my time, done the research, planned meticulously, learnt a tremendous amount ( for example developing this website and blog) and I’m still learning. To be quite frank, I’m loving it. As I said in a previous post STICK IT TO THE MAN, there is something very satisfying about doing your own thing when all around you are ‘doubting Thomas’. Even more so when you can quietly say to yourself “fuck you, I’m doing it anyway!”.

So, having had my interest perked by these comments and the “Midlife crisis Phenomenon”, I’ve done a little research about the concept which has been very interesting. I will admit there are some aspects of ‘the midlife crisis’ which resonate but I am confident, the approach I have taken is the right path for me, well conceived and meticulously planned.

The theory

The term “midlife crisis” was coined in 1965 by the Canadian psychologist Elliott Jaques. Over the course of a few years in the 20th century, the midlife crisis went from an obscure psychological theory to a ubiquitous phenomenon.

I’m absolutely sure there are men particularly; that are hit hard by the reality of life in middle age. In fact Jacques himself freely admitted he was the subject of the phenomenon he was describing in his initial address to the British Psycho-Analytical Society in London 1957 before going on to publish his paper in 1965 in The International Journal of Psychoanalysis, under the title “Death and the Mid-life Crisis.”

So it is a real phase that men of our age go through but for me the label has now outlived its usefulness. I prefer to call it the “midlife passage”. Approached in the right spirit, this is a chance to engage with the big questions: Who am I? What are my values? What gives my life meaning? And more importantly where am I going!?

That said, there are and there will be people that cannot adjust, finding there own mortality and the reality of this time in life difficult to deal with. I would imagine these people have generally struggled throughout life with their mental health anyway and this is just another one of life’s hurdles they will inevitably struggle with, just as before.

How to spot a ‘midlife crisis’

Signs to look out for (apparently) include going vegan, signing up for sporting challenges, reaching out to old lovers, reaching out to much younger new lovers, buying a toupee, getting a tattoo, buying expensive toys like a sports car, learning to play an instrument or joining a band, taking up an extreme sport, going to Glastonbury… you get the picture.

I’m glad to say ( and I’m sure Christina is too) that I have done non of the above perhaps except buy myself an expensive toy. But this in part can be excused because it is the vehicle through which I will be able to all the things I have always wanted to do but haven’t done yet.

It’s a mid life revival

After University, having had a great time as we all do, I was anticipating a carefree single flamboyant lifestyle into my early 30’s. Alas, I was to meet my soul mate Christina in the early 90’s shortly after qualifying as a doctor and we married 2 years later with Emily being born less than a year after. The other 5 coming over the next 6 years. One wonders how we ever coped but we did. We’ve sacrificed a whole ton of dreams to support our family, who I love without reservation. I have absolutely no regrets about doing so for them and I’m immensely proud of them. But the honest truth is that there is a huge list of things I didn’t do, because I put them first. And now is my time….

I hope this blog and my site will resonate with others like me who are following the journey, in the hope they will take control of their own destiny in a considered way averting any crisis. You too can have the confidence to shape your own journey. Let’s face it, you deserve it!

UPDATE ON THE VAN…

As you know the van is being converted by a company called Mclaren Sports homes in Leigh. You can visit their website to see what they offer at mclarensportshomes. In previous posts and on the page, The Van for me I have detailed what I want to allow me to not only travel but to hike, climb, cycle, kayak and ski here, there and everywhere. Off the beaten track, finding those little known gems that only the local people know of.

So far I have reserved a conversion slot for the van in May 2021. Until now, I have been awaiting Mercedes Benz to release their 2021 specifications and pricing list which was published for dealers on the 3rd November.

So the deal is now done! I have ordered and paid the deposit on a new 2021 Mercedes Benz 319 3L V6 long wheel base Sprinter in tenorite grey. There are a few extras in there too. For example the comfort seating upgrade with heated seats, electric sliding door and parking assist. It was a bit daunting committing to the cost but needs must. It occurred to me at the time, I have never bought a new vehicle and the most ever spent has been 14 K on our current Hyundai Tucson.

Mercedes Benz in Dussledorf is where the build will be done. Production beginning in January 2021. The lead time is quoted at 12 weeks but I suspect and wouldn’t be surprised if it’s nearer 16 weeks. However it will be in plenty of time for the next phase of Mclaren doing the conversion in May 2021. There are 2 aspects to the conversion; the internal and external specification.

Internal specification

Internally, there will be a fixed rear bed above a utilitarian garage in aluminium plate for all my adventure sports equipment e.g. bikes,skis etc . As well as a kitchen area, there is a “wet room” with shower/basin and toilet. Seating in the front of the cabin consists of 2 fixed seats, a table and two additional seats from the front seats ‘swivelling’ 180^o . The front seating being capable of conversion into a double bed if needed. The electrical system will be set up for an “off grid” capability with Lithium batteries, solar panel and battery to battery charging and an inverter.

The exact colour scheme and specification will not be decided until February/March time next year in readiness for the conversion early May. But I think these images give a flavour of the layout and look. I will be posting regularly next year as the build is happening, so subscribe to follow the build as it progresses.

External specification and look

The off grid spec will be evident with the all wheel drive function, large roof rack to carry two kayaks, solar panel and a viewing/sun deck.

The picture above is by Outside Vans (outsidevans) in the States and is similar to the van I want.

The rook rack will be designed by my good friend Jon Clare who I frequently go foraging with when in North Wales!

Me and “Jonny” Clare, my good friend pictured in North Wales. Just outside Tudweiliog foraging. Our walks usually with “Sal” his better half and Christina often finish at the Lion Hotel where we review our daily collection of foraged herbs and vegetables over a few pints of Glaslyn Ale, a fine beer by Porthmadog brewers Purple Moose. Check out their website purplemoose.co.uk. On this particular foraging expedition, we also found a Yorkie bar obviously dropped by a fellow forager. One of our more productive days I’d say! We thought it was funny anyway……

I do like the front bumper protection systems freely available and legal in the US. Alas EU safety legislation prohibits such modifications. Take a look at the one below by Backwoods Agile Off Road, not cheap at just under $3000. It can incorporate a winch as well. check out the website backwoodsadventuremods.com

I have been looking at various options that are EU compliant. Bull bars are illegal but it would appear there are modified front protection A bars, so called “nudge bars” which are EU safety standards compliant. They offer front end protection and are pedestrian safe, in the event of a collision. I’ll probably go with the black powder coated design from 4x4works shown in the middle below. In addition, extra lights will be installed to give that off road vehicle added utility.

Other bodywork protection includes an Aero front hood protection spoiler and fender protection with Raptor paint to the van sills, the details of which I will not bore you with now but will be detailed in future posts next year when the conversion build is underway which should, as I have already said, be in early May 2021 .

And finally……..

What about these bad boys with Goodrich all terrain tyres. They are the ones on the Strata above and for me are a must on my rig?

Black Rhino Warlord matte black with machined dark tint lip!

STOP PRESS:

ORTHOPAEDIC UPDATE

So, I have had a follow-up x-ray approximately 11-12 weeks following my surgery and they look good. The images are shown below. On the left is the pre-op leg alignment image with a line drawn from the centre of the hip to the centre of the ankle. Not only can you see the “bowing” of the lower limb but the line which demonstrates the weight bearing axis runs straight through the inside (medial) aspect of the knee. This is what led to the degenerative arthritis seen on the MR scan in a previous post. See thevantraveller.com/timetosortoutmyknee.

The image on the right is the most recent leg alignment study done and the same line drawn, shows the weight bearing axis to have moved to virtually through the centre of the knee and perhaps slightly to the lateral side (valgus). The bowing clearly corrected. A great result and one my surgeon was very pleased with. There is still a long way to go but my physio rehab is in full swing and I am beginning to feel the benefits of the surgery.

I don’t think many have really appreciated the extent of the surgery I have undergone. In essence with a high tibial oesteotomy you have your tibia surgically broken and re-set with an opened wedge filled with a piece of bone. In my case the bone incision was opened by 12⁰ . The bone graft shaped at the time of the operation, out of donated bone from femoral head bone removed at the time of a hip replacement procedure. The oesteotomy is then stabilised with a titanium plate and screws as shown above.

So yes, it hurt… a lot. The good news is, I am recovering well. Daily physio and training following 6 weeks of partial weight-bearing, to help build up my quads which have wasted significantly. Three months post op now and a further 3 months until a full recovery will be realised. But hopefully back at work in the new year, only to retire a few weeks later……….shame!

Take care and see you soon!

IT WILL SOON BE CHRISTMAS. NEXT POST IN THE NEW YEAR WHEN THE COUNTDOWN CLOCK WILL BE CLOSE TO 100 DAYS. SEE YOU ALL IN 2021!